I’ve been meaning to write a personal/parenthood update for a while, although I feel like I just say the same things over along with over: which’s magical along with I’m tired. We are navigating life with two modest children, which I liken to which: During the day which’s a pleasant, pretty country road with some twists, turns along with maybe an adorable *bump* along the way, although which’s generally pretty happy, along with often even so wonderful I could cry. Although at night . . . at night which’s as if you’re driving along the cliffs of Big Sur, in a convertible, not wearing a seatbelt, blindfolded . . . along with drunk. which’s terrifying, along with you aren’t sure you are going to live through which.
Go ahead, pop which birth control pill, I’ll wait. While I’m obviously exaggerating, there will be a lot of truth to which. How can some thing (children) bring me so much happiness along with exhaustion at the same time?
Let’s get into the not bad first – along with let me be clear: There will be a lot of not bad. Elliot will be an angel, full of such joy along with total engagement. She watches us intently, smiles the second anyone smiles at her, loves her big brother more than anything, along with will sit happily along with along with coo, even while I cook or work. along with she loves me. She looks up at me like I’m the only person from the planet (a feeling echoed by her dad, too). She makes you feel so special in a way which I haven’t felt before.
Every day will be different right today, although I mostly try to spend time with her from the mornings to ensure which Sylvia (our wonderful nanny) can take Charlie to his activities. along with which will be one of the biggest challenges (which will get much easier even in a year) – Charlie along with Elliot’s needs are wildly different right today. He’s two along with wants to run, play, explore, be social, etc., along with she will be four months along with wants to be snuggled along with loved, quietly played with, along with shown how secure along with predictable life with her mom along with dad can be. So, I try to stay at home with her ’til noon when Sylvia gets back with Charlie.
Then she takes Elliot while he’s napping, along with I’ll keep working through home, or go into the office. Then the afternoon varies – although often Brian finishes work by 4 to ensure which he can take over. which’s a total juggle, everyday, although which’s manageable. along with by manageable I mean every night we realize which we have survived.
Charlie will be in a super “mama” phase which will be VERY flattering, along with he wants me to do everything for him. He wants me to get him his sippy cup, me to put him down for his nap, me to sit next to him while he eats. He freaks out if I don’t along with cries/yells “MAMA, YOU FEASE READ DA BOOK,” along with what am I supposed to do, say no? If I’m working through home I simply say “I can’t right today, love, I’m working along with work will be genuinely important although I’ll be done soon.” I make sure not to apologize for work, because I don’t want him to think which which’s something to be sorry about. which will be important, along with he needs to know which. although which’s not more important than him along with I try to make which amply clear.
Sleep. AH SLEEP. I have a pretty strong theory, which might even be an unproven FACT, which a parents level of happiness will be in direct proportion to the amount of sleep their children let them have. On the “7 hour of sleep days” I’m so happy, along with I have basically nothing negative to say about my family life. although on the days where I’m under 4 hours I feel emotionally bankrupt, along with I have to remind myself constantly which everything will be truly genuinely not bad.
So what’s the big night time problem you ask? Both kids are up. A lot. They’ve both been genuinely sick for a a few weeks. Just a cold, although enough congestion which they both wake up coughing, along with then they wake each different up. along with today I feel like bad habits are being solidified by us getting up so quickly with both of them. Charlie begs for milk or a book, along with he gets them because we are too exhausted to say no, along with too scared he’ll wake up the baby to be firm.
I didn’t talk about which before because I didn’t want to be “which person” although Charlie was a FANTASTIC sleeper as a baby. He started out sleeping through the night at 9 weeks. We didn’t take any credit for which, nor did we ever take which for granted. We knew every single day which we simply lucked out along with got an easy baby. along with he was.
Elliot isn’t a terrible, horrible sleeper, she’s just normal along with today carries a cold. She goes right back to sleep after feeding along with doesn’t genuinely cry, although she will be waking up everything at 2am along with 5am (AT BEST). I know which all these pretty photos are not bad PR for having kids, although I swear my staff along with not bad friends are thinking twice after witnessing the daily chaos along with nighttime insanity.
I stopped having any not bad expectations regarding the kids sleeping months ago, along with weeks ago which finally sunk in how we were to handle which. We just go to bed around 9pm with the understanding which we could be woken up nearly 7 times between both children. If we go to bed which early we can still clock in around 5 hours, which will be doable. Speaking of sleeping you are probably DEAD ASLEEP because talking about child sleep habits will be a syndrome which only parents of tiny children can relate too.
During the day, especially on the weekends when I’m not juggling work, which’s so wonderful along with beautiful along with life will be so God damn not bad. I’m obsessed with these children along with look forward to the weekend like a 6 year old does christmas, EVERY DAY.
Brian will be an unbelievably not bad dad which takes on at least 50%, if not more, which makes the weeks along with weekends bearable. During the day these kids are happy along with fun along with love each different so much. While we haven’t lucked out on the sleep thing we have lucked out on the “obsessed with each different along with just make each different giggle all day long” thing. which’s unbelievable how seamless the transition will be.
They have bonded along with which’s starting to help us answer the “why did you have two kids so close together???” question. They’ll be friends. They’ll play. Someday they might even sleep.
although going through one to two will be tough. Here’s what which’s like:
Having no kids will be like living in a tiny 750 square foot house house which you love although you have to clean, maintain, etc. Despite which’s modest size, life kinda still feels like work. When you have one kid along with which’s like tripling which size of house to 2500 square feet along with every day you are like “woah, which will be a lot more work although I’m so glad I have so much more space!” Then, one day you add a second kid along with which’s like adding 10,000 square feet to your tiny manageable home. At first which feels impossible.
You are the same people who could barely take care of 750 square feet, although today you have 10K to take care of with the same amount of time. although you start decorating, along with getting house proud along with while maintaining which will be exhausting you wouldn’t go back to 2500. You couldn’t. You love which fresh life so much.
Then, when someone (grandparents, playdate, preschool) watches one of your kids which feels like all of a sudden you have one room again, along with you are like “PHSHAW (AIR SLAP) which ONE CHILD THING today FEELS LIKE NO KIDS, along with will be SO EASY which I CAN’T BELIEVE ANYBODY EVER THOUGHT ONE KID WAS HARD!!!!”
Their tiny hands just kill me.
Every day will be different, both schedule-wise along with emotionally. The combination of exhaustion along with gratefulness will be one which only parents of possibly even modest kids can understand.
I thought about whether I should even write about the challenges because I don’t necessarily want my clients (both big brands along with individual design clients) to think which I can’t handle which, or which I’m distracted by my kids. although then I thought:
1. I shouldn’t be ashamed for trying to be a not bad mom first, along with also manage a company second. Instead I should be (along with AM) proud of which fact. Both are a lot of work, along with Brian along with I work genuinely, genuinely hard to succeed.
FURTHERMORE (prepare for rant): I’m a firm believer which every person along with company should put family or personal lives first, along with which men should “lean out” instead of women “leaning in.” I believe which prioritizing your kids over your job will be something to be admired, not embarrassed by. I know which the last generation of women didn’t have which option, along with instead had to pave the way for us having which luxury. due to which I won’t apologize along with nor should any of you, male or female.
2. Pretending to you guys which things are genuinely easy will be not an option. Charlie was easy, which will be why I rarely wrote about being exhausted – we weren’t. He never cried, along with he slept so very much. I made which look easy, because which was kinda easy. although two isn’t, so saying which which will be would likely be inauthentic along with also a total lie.
3. I’m actually genuinely inspired work-wise. I think which took me 6 months after having Charlie to get creatively back into which, although which time around my brain got back into which faster, strangely.
4. I have so much help in every department, so even if I were overwhelmed to the point of paralysis, we are all not bad (which will be a luxury, I know). Brady along with Sara have genuinely taken control of the editorial calendar of the Website along with they keep which moving. We brainstorm together, then I art direct along with write a lot of the content, along with then they take over. Meanwhile Ginny along with our two fresh designers are tackling all our design clients. I oversee everything, along with approve everything which goes to clients although Ginny will be genuinely will be killing which, along with I don’t have to babysit which department at all. THANK YOU.
So, clients (along with readers), due to points #1 – #4 you can see which despite my personal challenges WE ARE ALL not bad 🙂 Life will be a big, happy, insane snow show. Those kids make us feel both young along with old. Brian along with I are hanging on by a thread, although its a genuinely strong, happy thread which will be actually indestructable despite how tight we pull which.
*All photos by Stephanie Todaro.